Mediocre Oblivion

There has to be a better way. I am not as smart as I once thought I was.  I don't know the best way to do everything.  I don't have life all figured out.  I am missing some key information, or skills, or something.  There are things I don't understand and I am not sure I have the capacity to understand.  Knowing this makes me feel defeated.  As long as my superior intelligence was a certainty, I had confidence in my ability to eventually maneuver successfully through life. 

Apparently I am an idiot on some levels.  I don't know how to move passed a certain level of competency.  I am stuck, plateaued and stalled in the center lane.  I know how to work hard.  I know how to figure a way out of most situations.  What I have come to realize is that I don't know the BEST way out of most situations.  What I know is A way, one way, one possible solution, and that it isn't always the best answer.  There are other ways of doing things that I am completely oblivious to.  I don't want to be.

How can I rise above the oblivion?  I need a teacher, mentor, role model, hero, example, something.  I need to see how it is done and then I can try and follow.  I look around me and I see more mediocrity.  More minds stuck in the oblivion.  Some might have a little piece here or there, but where is the stellar example of excellence?  I don't see it in my life.  I hear a lot of talk.  I see a lot of try.  I see a lot of want to.  I see a lot of people who are like me.  I want to find a group, or individual that is doing better.  This so-so, scrape by the skin of my teeth junk is getting seriously old. 

I am not satisfied with the get by mentality.  It's better than the give up mentality, but it isn't good enough.  There MUST be a way to rise above and really succeed at something.  I know there are doors that I don't open because I feel I am not capable of walking down those paths.  I know I shut my mind to options that seem out of reach.  I am ready to start looking down those unfamiliar paths.  I would rather not go it alone.  If that is the only way, then I will.  I feel too old to be starting this kind of journey.  I should be wrapping things up, and looking for a comfy way to enjoy retirement and grandparenthood.  Instead I feel like a 20 something still trying to figure out what the heck I want to do with my life. Too many years wasted thinking I had it all figured out.  Too many years of lying to myself.  I am not the smartest person in the room.  Well, at this moment, I am, because I am alone, except for my dogs, and I can unequivocally state with no doubt, that I am smarter than they are.  They are confused by the concept of wrapping their leash around a pole and all they need to stop the torment is to back up, one step. 

Heavenly Father, show me a door, and I will open it.  I promise.  I will do the hard things and I will be humble and teachable.  I am open to learning what I am missing so that I can finally move beyond this same, stuck, almost there place that I have been far, far, far, too many times.

Looking for new ways to make some CA$H

In an effort to up the income without seriously impacting the daily schedule, I am experimenting with affiliate programs.

The first one I am trying is i declare.  It's pretty jewelry with customizable engraved charms.  I like it.  I hope it works!

Click this link - buy some jewelry!  Do it! 

Cacophony

As soon as an author uses the word cacophony my opinion of them drops. Have you ever said cacophony in a normal conversation? No. People do not say this word, they only write it and they should stop.

Another one bites the dust today.  I am not even half way in and I am ready to throw in the towel.  It was dragging a little and now he used the dreaded word ....   

Just 2 things

I want to distill it down to just 2 things, but I think it is either one thing, or a 100.  Two is just not going to work for this situation.

If it is one thing, then it is ..... keeping promises, doing what you say your are going to do, less talk and more do, only say it if you mean it, don't spend money you don't have yet, pay your obligations before you play, if you promise something then make it happen or die trying, if you can't keep your promise then at least feel bad about it and do what you can, try to come close, be careful what you promise, pay your debts with love, think before you commit, read the fine print, do your part, do what you say, mean what you say, give a damn ..... TRUSTWORTHY.

The image I see for this is a rock.  It is what it is, there is no disguise, it does not change, it does not run and hide from storms.  It stays put, lets the rain soak it, the sun heat it, the wind buffet it, and yet it remains, steadfast, immovable, strong and TRUSTWORTHY.

First Spin

Welcome to my first spin in the test kitchen.  I wanted to do this much, much earlier today, but my mouse died. No, not my pet rodent, my wireless mouse.  I thought it was the battery, but nope, after testing 3 other batteries (Yes, I am that person that thinks maybe the new battery could be defective, or even 2 of them, but certainly not 3.), it was pretty clear the cute little aqua color mouse was dead.  It isn't very old, it's a Microsoft brand, and it's dead.

Recently the Office Depot near me closed and now it is a MEGA church.  Weird huh?  So, the closet location for a replacement mouse was WalMart.  WalMart is an energy killer on a good day, and today wasn't a good day to start with.  I've had the flu, and woke up much improved, but not great.  My bodies lovely way of expressing distress is to cover me in hives, so that is what I woke up to.  Itchy, red blotchiness (I don't care if spell checker thinks that blotchiness is not a word, I'm going to use it anyway.) pretty much everywhere.  Doesn't really set one up for a day of comfort and tranquility.  Don't get me wrong, it's way better than feeling like I'm going to puke.  I'd rather itch than barf any day.  But still, blah - not fun - so the trip to WalMart pretty much took the last of my energy for the day.  There is laundry still sitting in the washer and dryer that need to be moved.  I didn't cook dinner (Thankfully the guys brought home awesome leftovers from their lunch.), and my list of things to do did not get done.

I am trying to figure out the best way to make an ad for the MM blog.  We sold an ad and now they are asking for the details, like size, etc.  Well, uhhh .... I don't know.  Let me figure that out.  Hold on, while I google that ....   experiment ... oh crap, my mouse is dead, itch itch, yawn .... head to WalMart .... any remaining life sucked out of me by the black hole that is WalMart ... and here I sit.

I need this site to simulate the one I am working on.  I can't screw up the view for everyone while I experiment.  Hence, Wendy's Test Kitchen is born!  It's an exciting day!  Honestly, I love it!  It feels fun and free!  Free to write without everyone over analyzing me to death, taking things personally, or otherwise out of context.  So, if you found this site, you are either a seriously, creepy stalker (watch for the restraining order, cause it's comin'!!), or just plain lucky!

Ok - Here's a favorite pic to include, just for fun and to make me smile.